Missing You
by kg534
Summary: Shawn Mendes and Auburn have been dating a few years. Will the troubles of him being tour affect your relationship? Find out and read it!
1. I Love You

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first story so take it easy on me! Hope you like it!

Shawn and I cuddled on the couch as we watched our favorite show. He did a fake yawn and put his arm around me. I laugh a little and rest my head on his chest.

I looked up at him and just smiled. He looked down at me and asked," What?"

I laugh a little and say," Just admiring your face."

Shawn was the perfect boyfriend. He always knew what to say and when to say it, unlike the other people at my school.

Shawn laughed and said," Please stop trying to persuade me to stay. I gotta go on tour in a few days."

My smile turned into a frown pretty fast. I knew he was leaving and I didn't want him to leave.

I hated it when he left. I felt pretty lonely. I would have to pass by the time and I didn't have enough friends to spend time with.

He looked down at me with a sad face. "What's wrong Shawn?" I asked kinda concerned.

He shook his head and let out a big sigh," Nothing Auburn everything's fine."

This time I sat up and asked, " What's wrong?"

Shawn had a soft smile and said," I wish I could stay longer. I gotta go back to Toronto to pick up some stuff."

I nodded. I knew that's what he had to do. He always did that.

"When is your flight?" I asked with a sigh.

"8:00 AM tomorrow," He answered.

I put on a soft smile and said confidently," That's doable! I'll drive you there tomorrow morning."

He smiled a big smile and said,"You're the best." He kissed my forehead.

I started to blush," I love you, Shawn."

He started to frown again," How would you know? I'm barely ever with you between tours. I miss you Auburn. All the time. Sometimes I wish I wasn't famous because I want every day to be like this. Just us. No tours. No distractions. Just us."

"I know," I said.

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I always felt safe in his arms. "I do know one thing though Auburn," he said.

"What?" I asked curious.

"I love you more," he answered.

"I love you most," I said.

I didn't want him to leave. I loved him. His fans make him happy though, so I couldn't make them miss out because of my selfishness. I closed my eyesin his arms. I never wanted this moment to end.

I smiled as he twirled my hair. I laid there in his arms and slowly drifted to sleep.

I woke up to see Shawn looking down at me and holding me still tightly. "Good morning, Princess," he said.

"Good morning my prince," I said with a soft smile," What time is it?"

"6:35," He answered.

I started to stand up as Shawn helped me up. I gave him a small kiss and went to the kitchen.

I cracked some eggs and put them in the pan. Suddenly, I felt Shawn's arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away. I laughed a little and kept cooking.

I turned around quickly to see Shawn standing there. I laughed and gave him a hug. He picked me up and spun me around as my legs were wrapped around his waist.

He sat me on the counter and stepped back a little. "I just got the best idea," I said.

"What is it?" Shawn asked.

"What if I stayed with your family while you were on tour? I take online classes, so I could still do school," I said with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," he said rolling his eyes," As long as you behave. I know my parents love you, but please don't make them change their mind."

"Yes!" I exclaimed dancing around the house.

He went up to me and said," Well looks like you got an extra day with your extra special guy."

I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck," Well I guess I do."

"Listen this isn't the fist tour and definitely not the last, Auburn. Just please be careful with loving me the way you do. I don't want you getting hurt or heartbroken. I love you more than anything, just I wanted to warn my princess of the dangers about loving her prince." Shawn said.

My face dropped a little," I know. That's why I don't take a moment for granted. You might not always love me, but please don't fake it. That's the worst thing that can happen."

I put my face in his chest as my eyes water. I remember Cameron. Yes, I used to date Cameron Dallas. He was just as good as Shawn until he faked that he loved me until I broke up with him.

Shawn lifted up my face. He knew what I was thinking about. "I would never do that to you," He said with a soft smile.

"I know," I said trying my best to hold back tears.

"Why are you crying, princess?" Shawn asked concerned.

I started to cry and couldn't stop," I don't want you to leave. It feels like I never see you and I want you here more than you will ever know. I cant handle being alone again. Do you know how scary that is?"

He started to panic. He had never known how I felt until now.

"Auburn it's okay I'm here," he said hugging me tight.

"I know…. I….know. It's just. I don't know if I can handle you being gone again. I never know what goes on during tour. I don't know and I will never know! I want to though. I want to be with you more than anything, but your family is the closest thing I've got. Your family is the closest thing to a family that I've known." I say crying more and more.

"Auburn please. I love you." Shawn said trying to make things okay.

"If you did you would stay. You wouldn't leave. I want you to do what you love and I want you to be happy, but I don't know if I'm willing to give up my happiness for yours. I love you a lot Shawn. I want to stay with you I really do, but is it worth the cost? Sometimes I wish you would be normal. Not my famous Shawn. MY SHAWN. The Shawn that can stay for longer than a week. The Shawn that writes songs with so many mistakes, but he doesn't care because no one will hear it except for me. I want that Shawn." I say.

"I WANT THAT SHAWN TOO," he yells," I want a normal life. I love doing the thing I love, but I love you and if you feel this way then I don't know what to do. I don't know if the price you're paying is worth it. I'm sorry you feel this way. I want to fix it I do. I want to fix you and your past, but I just can't. I just want to say I'm sorry and if you still feel this way then I will go on tour. I'll leave, but don't expect me to run into your apartment when I get home."

"Shawn I didn't mea-"

"I heard exactly what I wanted to hear." Shawn said as he packed his stuff.

"Shawn, I'm sorry I'm just upset." I said.

"I'm sure you were, but if this isnt worth it, then you should just leave." He said not even making eye contact with me.

It was 7:30. "Time to go to the airport," I said.

"Let's go," He answered putting on a fake smile.

I was regretting my idea to stay with his family, but I still went. I love his family. Shawn and I are just having a complicated time that's all. I reassured myself.

*****************after the flight*********************

His parents stood there waiting for us. Shawn saw them and his face lit up. He bolted to his parents while holding my hand.

"MOM! DAD!" He exclaimed.

They hugged him tight. They saw me and gave me a hug as well.

"Auburn! Heard you were staying with us! So glad you could!" They said.

" ! ! So good to see you!" I answered.

"Aaliyah is home right now," said.

"I missed her so much," Shawn said.

We got in the car and went to his house. I loved Toronto. It was always beautiful there.

We made it to his house. Shawn led me to the guest room to unpack.

He closed the door behind him and kissed me. I was surprised and flattered.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

We parted and he said," I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked.

He kissed me again," Everything. For not being here. For leaving you all the time. For our fight. "

I slammed his lips on mine. That's all he needed to say. I understood.

"I love you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes." I whisper.

He smiled and kissed me more. He held me as close as he could until we finally stopped our makeout session

We made our way downstairs. We saw Aaliyah and Shawn ran to her and hugged her. He was so happy with her. They are sibling goals!

I love Aaliyah she's like the little sister I've never had. She is the sweetest girl in the world.

When Aaliyah and Shawn stopped hugging she saw me. She ran to me and almost tackled me when coming in for a hug.

We hugged for a while and then it was time for dinner.

We had some pasta (his family knew it was my favorite). "Thank you for letting me stay here while Shawn is on tour. It gets kinda lonely when he's gone."

"Wait. SHE'S STAYING?!" Aaliyah asked.

"Yes she is, and please Auburn consider this place home." answered.

"YES YES YES!" Aaliyah exclaimes.

I laughed and said," Thank you ."

He nodded and kept eating his pasta. "So tomorrow is my last day before tour. What do we wanna do?"

answered," You're mother and I are staying here, but you, Aaliyah, and Auburn can go somewhere."

"Why don't we go to the skating rink?" Aaliyah suggested.

"Uhhh I'm not the best with skating." I answered.

"We'll teach you," Shawn said with a wink.

We all soon went to bed and had a good night's rest. I felt like this was home. This was wayy better than my old home and family.

A/N: What is Auburn's past? How will she do with Shawn gone? Find out in the next chapter!


	2. He's Gone

My past is a complicated life.

As a kid, I was never really loved. I never felt like I'm at home. I'd see other kids happy and I would question why I don't have that.

As a kid, my parents gave me up to foster care. I only had my brother growing up. I went from house to house with no place to call home. I never got attatched.

One day, a single woman about 25 years old came and said she would take care of my brother and I. She took us out of foster care, but never really adopted us. That was already a red flag.

She was never home. She was on business trips or she was just out with friends leaving us to count on each other.

I learned a long time ago how to take care of myself, but I never understood happiness.

One day, my brother got into a car accident leaving me by myself. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I had hit rock bottom. No friends, real family, or even happiness anymore. My life revolved around me brother until he passed. My life fell apart.

Soon when I was old enough I owned my own apartment and FINALLY got out of the care of that witch.

She was like the evil stepmother drom Cinderella, but this stepmother was never home. Aaaanyways.

I owned my own apartment with an internship with a record label. I've always loved music. Music helped me through my tough times.

One day in the studio, I met a really hot boy named Cameron. Yep. Cameron Dallas. He was soo cute and we clicked right away. He was like the PERFECT guy and I thought we would be together forever.

One day, he just kinda stopped loving me I guess. He acted weird until I confronted him. He admitted that he had stopped loving me.

I was heartbroken and convinced that I would never give my heart to anyone ever again. I had given my heart to my brother, he died. I had given bits and pieces of my heart to Cameron, he left me in the dust.

Then, Shawn came along. He always stayed with me after Cameron and I's breakup. He would have his shirt get soaked by my tears. One day, he got the courage to ask me out. I said yes because I knew nothing could be better than my best friend being my boyfriend. I loved him.

He is amazing and I'm so glad that we found each other or I wouldn't be here.

*****************back at the skating rink*************************

I spent every moment I could with Shawn . I held one arm on his waist and the other hand was intertwined in his hand tightly.

He knew I was scared, but he used it as an excuse to hold me. It was sweet though.

Aaliyah would bolt pass us overlapping us several times.

When we finally were done we decided to head to a café. We had some coffee, but Shawn got a hot chocolate because he doesn't like coffee.

We headed home and Shawn cuddled on the bed with me while watching Frozen. This is why I love him.

I fell asleep for a little bit. I had an awful nightmare about my brother. These happened often, but Shawn has never experienced it. I woke up and pulled Shawn close. I woke up Shawn and he held me not knowing was going on.

"Baby, what's going on?" He asked while very tired.

"M-M-My b-br-brother.." I said. I could barely get the words out.

He wrapped his arms around me as I cried and cried.

SHAWN'S P.O.V-

I didn't know what was happening. I heard something about her brother.

I pulled her as close as I could. This wasn't her first cry about him, but I hadn't seen a nightmare.

This was the worst I've seen her. I almost called my parents, but she looked up at me and gave me a look.

She said very weak," Please don't. I'll be okay here in your arms." I smiled and wrapped her up in a blanket and cuddled with her until she fell asleep and longer. I knew this was our last night in each other's arms and I didn't want a single moment to be lost.

Auburn's P.O.V

I fell asleep again after my breakdown. I woke up in his arms still and smiled. A tear rolled down my cheek. He was leaving today. I couldn't do anything. All I did was hold him tighter like a teddy bear.

He woke up and returned my hug with a kiss on the cheek. He saw the tear and he put up my chin, so we were face-to-face. He wiped the tear and he serenaded me with kisses all over my face. I laughed and kissed him. We didn't part.

It felt like it was me and him. That's it. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pulled my waist closer. I put my arms around his neck. We parted for a spit second to look in each other's eyes.

"I never want this to end," Shawn said in between kisses.

"Then don't let it," I answered.

He smiled and kissed me more. Sparks were flying through my body like crazy. I couldn't get enough of this boy.

Soon we finally parted for good. I let out a little giggle and put my head in his chest.

"I don't want this to be over," I said pointing to us two. He nodded and shed a tear. Wow! I had never seen Shawn cry.

"Shawn. A-are you okay?" I asked.

"Of course." He said, but I knew he wasn't okay.

"This isnt over, Shawn. Please," I said.

"Of course it isn't," He tried to smile a little," I'll see you before you can say 'I miss you.' I'll facetime you every night and I'll make sure that you'll stay here for as long as you need."

I nodded," Make those fans happy Shawn. Make me proud my muffin."

He kissed my nose," Don't worry, princess. I'll make you the proudest girlfriend in the world."

I hugged him tight and he buried his face in my(his) hoodie and started to cry.

I cried too. He was leaving for…. 10 MONTHS.

******************at the tour bus to drop him off********************************

A gave him a kiss and a gigantic hug. He got on the bus and his family saw me crying. They were so used to it, why?

They gave me a hug. My muffin was gone.

HE WAS GONE FOR 10 MONTHS!


	3. Why would I do that?

A/N: This story is not true! None of it ESPECIALLY from this chapter forward. You'll understand later. Love you guys!

I cried a few times after Shawn left, but as he promised we facetimed every night. I wish I was with him face-to-face and not just through a screen.

Aaliyah would always keep me company and we got closer and closer. We decided to go to the mall today.

I grabbed $20 and went with her to the mall. We walked around the mall, bought a few things here and there.

I went into my bed after a long day. I heard crying in the room next to ..but that's Aaliyah's room.

I walk into her room and see her cuddled in a blanket crying.

"Aaliyah what's wrong?" I asked as I sat next to her on the bed.

"I-I just miss h-him," She answered as she pointed to a photo of her and Shawn.

I put my arms around her," I know. So do I."

"You don't understand," She said turning away a little.

"Yes I do. I lost a brother when I was a little younger than you. He was the best and he died in a car accident," I said.

She looked at me and hugged me tight. "Do you miss Shawn when he's on tour?" She asked.

I answered,"Oh yeah! I barely see him and it's the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes I wish we could…"

"…be in each other's arms," Aaliyah and I said it in unison. I nodded and hugged her tighter. Being with Aaliyah was just enough to feel the comfort of with Shawn.

*buzz buzz* Shawn was facetiming me. "Wanna facetime Shawn with me?" I asked.

Her face lit up and she nodded.

We answered and he saw us. "Hey there my princesses!" He said through the screen happily.

"Hey, Shawn!" Aaliyah said excited.

"We miss you!" I said to him.

"I miss you guys too. Stay strong guys! Just 5 more months!" He said.

We nodded. "Where are you right now?" I asked.

"Phoenix, Arizona," He said," We gotta go on a roadtrip, Auburn. It is beautiful everywhere!"

I smiled. I had never gone on a roadtrip. Especially with Shawn.

"I missed that smile." Shawn said.

A tear rolled down my cheek," I missed yours as well."

"Don't cry, Auburn." Shawn said," You'll make me cry and I have a show tomorrow night."

I laughed. I hated my laugh. It would either end or be full of snorts. My red hair covered my blue eyes as I was embarassed.

"Aw. Auburn! Don't be embarassed! I love your laugh," Shawn said reasurring,"I love everything about you. Your ginger hair, your blue eyes, your soft lips, your dimples, your EVERYTHING!"

"Stop it, Shawn. Youre making me more embarrased. Your sister is right here." I said.

Aaliyah was dying of laughter," Soft lips?! HAHAHAHHA!"

I hit her lightly," Stop hahahha."

"Awe you love him complimenting you," Aaliyah said.

I blushed.

"You're blushing, princess." Shawn said.

"Shaaaawn." I said.

"Priiiincessss,"He answered.

I put the facetime on mute. "Ugh! He's so cute! What did I do to deserve him?" I said.

"In my opinion, you're just as cute and I ask myself that question every day." Shawn said.

"Wait I thought the facetime was on mute!" I started to panic.

"You're blushing again," Shawn said.

I cover my face. He was so cute aghh.

It isn't okay. How am I so lucky? How was I so lucky to get a boyfriend and a best friend have the same role?

I wanted to hug him through the phone, but the next best thing was putting the phone next to my face and imagining him with me.

Aaliyah had drifted to sleep a while ago.

I imagined holding Shawn's hand tightly. I remembered every sweet memory.

-The next day was the worst day of my life-

"Auburn…" Mr. Manuel said my name softly.

"Yes Mr. Manuel?" I asked. He covered his mouth and handed me the phone. There was a long text from one of the tour managers.

The text read: 

"I'm very sorry to inform you that last night there was an accident on the tour bus. I found out this morning that everyone on the bus died. I'm so very sorry again Manuel."

I put the phone on the table and fell to the ground. I broke down crying. I couldn't take it.

"I-It's not true…" I said softly. He nodded," I'm so so so sorry…"

He was gone now.

I imagined our hands intertwined. The memories slowly died. The love of my life was gone forever.

"I think that after the funeral I'm gonna go back home to my apartment," I said.

He nodded," I understand. The funeral is tomorrow."

"I loved him so much," I said between sobs. I looked at Mr. Manuel as he sat next to me. "What if I loved him too much?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Never….You loved him better than anyone could. I thank you for that," He said.

"He showed me how to love…" I said smiling softly. He nodded. "He showed us all how to love and what love felt like," He said," I'll give you some space."

I nodded. He stopped in his tracks and turned around," Things will get better, I promise."

I smiled. "I sure hope so…" I said.

He left me to mourn.

-The next day was the funeral-

I cried the whole time. Aaliyah and the rest of the family cried as well.

When we went to their house, I started to pack. Aaliyah asked her parents if she could stay with me for a little while. They said yes, so she was going to stay with me for about a month or two.

-On the plane-

Aaliyah was giddy. "My apartment isn't much," I said laughing.

"I know, but I'm just so excited!" She yelled throughout the plane.

"OK. Rule #1: Inside voices," I said whispering and laughing. She laughed and gave me thumbs up.

-At my apartment-

"Hey, so in a little while Aaron Carpenter is coming over to chill," I said to Aaliyah.

She started to fangirl. Oh boy! "THE Aaron Carpenter is coming HERE?" She asked with excitement.

I nodded," Do you know any other Aaron Carpenters?" She shook her head vigorously.

I laughed and got into a sweatshirt with leggings and a messy bun.

*Knock Knock* I answered the door," Aaron! Hey! Long time no see!"

He gave me a hug," Auburn! So good to see you! Sorry about…the accident."

I smiled and said," It's okay. I'm recovering." Aaliyah came around the corner and saw Aaron. She started to smile brightly and hugged him tight.

He looked at me laughing and said," This is mini Mendes?" I laughed and nodded. "The one and only," I answered.

Aaliyah had dinner with us and then went to bed because of jet lag. Personally, I was used to it.

Aaron and I rented a movie to watch. "Hey, so seriously how are you doing with the whole incident thing going on?" He asked.

"I'm doing fine," I said. He looked at me seriously," You're not fine, what's up?"

"The sky." I said sarcastically.

"No Auburn I'm serious, how are you?" He asked. Nobody has asked me that since the accident.

"Pretty awful to be honest," I said starting to cry," It's just hard to handle." The tears came and they wouldn't go away. I hid in my palms.

He lifted my face and wiped my tears. We stared into each other's eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. He kissed my softly, but passionate enough to beg for more. I real quick closed my bedroom door and locked the door, so Aaliyah wouldn't come in.

"Where were we?" I asked. Aaron looked surprised. "Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded. "I-I don't w-want to rush a-anything," He said stuttering. "Shut up and kiss me," I said. I kissed him. At first, he tried to stop, but his desire for me was greater. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my legs around his waist. His hands played with my hair. He picked me up and pinned me against the wall. I kissed him more. "I don't…want this…to end," He said between kisses. "Then…don't….let…it," I answered. I put my hands on his head and pulled him closer. He stopped for a second and we catch our breath. I get down from his waist and go to lay down on the bed.

He sat down next to me. I took his hand and started to play with the traces on his hand. He laid down on the bed next to me. I turned over and looked at him and he did the same. He said as he put his arms around my waist to pull me closer. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in. I put my hands on the back of his neck and played with his hair taunting him to kiss me. "Oh stop already," He said. He kissed me one last time.

I know this isn't the best method to get over a dead boyfriend, but it took the pain away for a little bit. When he left, I sobbed. I felt so bad. I shouldn't have done that. UGH! I mess everything up.

A/N: I know, I'm awful. Comment what you think should happen next! (Running out of ideas)


	4. I Was Happy Again

What have I done? What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

The words echoed in my head. "STOP!" I yelled in my apartment.

Aaliyah ran into my room," Auburn! Are you okay?"

"Uhhh…uhhh….y-yea just a bad dream about Shawn," I said.

"Okay, I'm making breakfast, so just come when you feel like it," She said smiling as she slowly closed my apartment door.

I took deep breaths. I didn't understand what happened, but I did understand that I had to tell Aaliyah. I went to breakfast and plumped into a chair. I looked at Aaliyah and said," Aaliyah? I have to tell you something."

She answered with a mouthful of pancakes," What's up?"

I sighed," I-I made out with Aaron last night after you went to bed."

"Oh…OH," She said surprised.

"Please don't freak out. I regret it so much already," I said.

"Auburn it's okay. Stop worrying. Shawn would want you happy, so I'll ask you. Are you happy?"

"I-I don't know," I said looking down at my plate full of eggs, sausage, and pancakes.

"Auburn. I don't want to see you like this. Does Aaron make you happy?"

"I like him, I think. I'm not totally sure," I answered.

"Well, did you enjoy the kiss?" She asked.

"I'm pretty sure any girl would enjoy THAT kiss," I said blushing.

"Oookay. Chill out a little, honey. I'm trying to get used to this. Baby steps," She said with a small laugh.

I laughed," So we're good?"

"Of course. I want you happy like Shawn does," She said.

I looked at her happily. "You can go see him," She said smiling," I'm meeting with some friends that live near here."

"Okay, bye Aaliyah! Thanks for understanding," I said as I gave her a hug and left.

I took a deep breath. I knew that to see Aaron I would have to go to Cameron's apartment. Ugh! I haven't seen or talked to him after the breakup. Well. First time for everything!

-Cameron's Apartment-

"You want to see Aaron, huh?" Cameron asked blocking the doorway of his apartment.

"Cam please let me through," I said.

"Not until you kiss me," He said smiling.

"Ew no, Cam! Just let me see Aaron," I said starting to get angry.

"Cam, stop and let her in," Aaron said coming around the corner of Cameron's apartment.

"Ugh, are you sure?" Cameron asked Aaron.

"Cam," Aaron said. I gave Cam a smirk as he rolled his eyes and moved out of the way.

"Aaron I have to talk to you, but not here," I said pointing my head towards Cameron," What about the coffee shop?"

"You guys go ahead. I'm gonna go with you, but you will have a 30 minute head start," Cameron said.

"Okay deal. Come on, Aaron," I said grabbing his hand and leading him outside to my car.

We get in the car and start driving. "So what is this surprise arrival? No complaints by the way," Aaron said smiling.

"Aaron, I like you and I wanted to tell you that. Shawn wants me to be happy and you make me happy," I said looking at him every one and a while trying to get a reaction out of him.

He looked emotionless. "Well? Are you going to say anything?" I asked.

"Are you serious? Are you sure?" He asked starting to be a little excited, but he tried not to get his hopes up.

"Aaron Carpenter, would I lie to you? Yes! I like you! You make me happy and I know that it's sudden, but please I just wanted to tell you that," I answered," So what do you say?"

"I say that you have made me the happiest guy in the world just by those words," He said with a smile on his face.

"Do you want to date? Wait no that was too sudden wasn't it. Ugh! I'm ruining everything aren't I?" Aaron said frowning.

"I would love to date you, Aaron," I said laughing.

"See I knew this would happ- wait what? You said yes?! YOU SAID YES!" He said smiling and trying to pinch himself to make sure it wasn't a dream.

We finally made it to the coffee shop.

"What do you want, my girlfriend?" Aaron asked smiling.

"A vanilla latte thanks my boyfriend," I said to him. He blushed a little and ordered.

After about 30 minutes, Cameron arrived. Cameron sat next to me. It sent tingles through my body, but why? "What did I miss?" He asked.

"A lot Cam, a lot," Aaron said looking at me smiling.

"Wait, you two are.." Cameron trailed off with a sad expression.

"Yep," Aaron said happily," This is MY girlfriend."

"So would THIS boyfriend be jealous if HIS best friend put his arm around HIS girlfriend?" Cameron said putting his arm around me. I got goose bumps. I felt the comfort and security of his arm around me. I haven't felt this way with Aaron.

"Back off MY girlfriend," Aaron said. Cam took his arm away from me. I frowned a little, but not to the point that they noticed. I missed Cam. I missed his touch, his lips, his hair, his everything.

"Aaron, I don't know how I feel right now, I can't do this right now. I-I'm sorry," I said as I got up and walked out of the café.

Aaron's POV

"What…just…happened?" I asked Cam.

"She misses her Cam that's what," Cam said.

"No..she can't. Can she? You broke her heart," I said.

Cameron's POV

Does she like me? I don't know. I miss her. I love her again. The feelings are back, but harder than before. I want her lips, her hips, her hair, her eyes, her everything. I want her for me. I hated to see her with Aaron. I was kinda happy when she walked out.

When I got home, I went to my room and closed the door. I opened her number in my phone. I called her.

"Hello?" I heard her sweet voice.

"Hey, Auburn. It's Cam. I uh wanted to know if you um wanted to meet me at the park," I said nervously.

"Why not?" She said. I heard the excitement in her voice.

"Okay. 6:00. That gives you about 30 minutes to get ready. You don't have to dress nice, just show up," I said.

-6:00 at the park-

Auburn's POV

I had butterflies in my stomach. The sun had already set. I sat on a bench with a crop top and high waist shorts.

I saw Cam get out of his car and walk towards me. He set down a blanket on the grass. "Milady," He said smirking at me. Ugh classic Cam.

I sat down and he sat next to me. I looked in his eyes and he looked in mine. I kissed him. He pulled me close and kissed me back. "Ugh Cam, I missed this," I said.

"I missed it more," He said smirking. He kissed me again and again. When we stopped we looked at the stars.

"Did you want me as much as I wanted you right then?" I asked.

"Oh Auburn, I wanted you ever since you started dating that son of a gun, Shawn." He said.

He gave me a strong a passionate kiss.

"Were you jealous of Aaron when we started dating?" I asked.

"Oh man Auburn, I want you all to myself, so until I get you our nights together will look like this," He said.

"What happens when you get me?" I ask.

"Oh baby, you ask too many questions," He said. He kissed me. When he said baby, I wanted him more than ever. One kiss turned into two and two turned into nonstop.

Between kisses I asked," Seriously Cam…what happens….when….you…finally….get…me…all to….yourself?"

"Auburn….I will….cherish you…..and love you….until….my dying…days….if you….become…mine…so…until…then…friends…with…benefits," He answered between kisses.

I smiled as we kissed. Every kiss sent an electrical spark through my body. Friends with benefits.

I wanted him to be mine. I didn't want a girl to get him. I wanted him to myself. All to myself.

After our make out session finally broke, I laid on the blanket next to Cam. He twirled my hair like Shawn used to do. I smiled. I was happy again.

A:N/ Hey! So I don't know who's team you're on, so let me know! Team Aaron or Team Cameron? Tell me in the comments! Please don't be mad at who she ends up with! It depends on how many people of each team I get! GO COMMENT AND LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!


	5. What!

I paced the floor of my apartment. Aaliyah walked in and said," Sooo how are you and Aaron."

"Uhh there isn't a Aaron and I," I said.

"Ohh, ok," She said smiling and she walked out.

I didn't know what I wanted to do. The guys both texted me nonstop. I had 12 missed calls and voicemails from Aaron and 20 texts from Cameron.

I was so stressed. I told them both that I didn't know what to do right now. They understood and stopped the flirting. I missed the flirting though. I wanted them to kiss me and hold me close anyways.

I just didn't know WHICH one I wanted holding me and kissing me. I still loved Shawn. If Shawn was in the picture, I would keep him and never let him go. I loved him. I guess I never noticed how much I missed him.

I started to cry on my bed. I wanted my baby back. I don't want Aaron or Cameron. I just want MY Shawn. MY wonderful and awesome boyfriend who loves me best.

I miss everything. I miss the little things I loved about him. Aaliyah walked in and hugged me. She knew what I was crying about.

"I'm not happy, Aaliyah. I'm the opposite of happy. I want Shawn back," I said bawling my eyes out.

"Auburn, you should go tell Aaron and Cameron what's going on. They should be able to help," Aaliyah said.

I nodded and texted each of them telling them that I was on my way.

=====Cam's apartment=====

I knocked on the door and they both answered. "H-hey, guys," I said with my red face from crying.

"Did you make your decision on who you want to date?" Aaron asked winking.

I shook my head," I just need a safe place."

We all three went to the beach. Aaron put down a blanket on the sand. I sat in between Aaron and Cam.

Right there I cried. I let all the tears I held in I let it all out.

I told them everything. Especially the part of making out with both of them.

They stared at each other giving a look of 'You did that too?'.

"I-I just don't know if I can go on like this," I said with tears still rolling down my face.

"Auburn, you're going to get through this, things will get better," Cam said with a soft smile.

"I know, but right now things aren't better. My life is falling apart. Torn between two guys and if I could have Shawn, I would have him here right now. I just miss him. He loved me more than anyone else. He taught me that it's okay to love. He helped me through what happened with you, Cam," I said," Cam, I don't want the same mistakes again. They hurt enough the first time. I just want to have Shawn longer. Shawn was the best thing that happened to me."

Aaron and Cam look at each other with their breath taken away. They didn't know I felt like this.

"What if you went to MAGCON with us? That might help," Aaron said.

"I don't know. I don't know what my role would be. I'd be the one girl backstage that no one notices," I said," Plus, good memories are there. They'll hit me too hard. I don't know if you want a crying girl on the tour bus."

"What do you mean by good memories?" Aaron asked.

"Well, Cam and I met at the studio. He was working on a song and I had to go in there for a sec and we hit it off. Then, we started dating and I went to MAGCON and that's where I met Shawn. MAGCON used to be my favorite place. It's where I met my best friend and boyfriend, but now that he's gone it's nothing but sadness there," I said looking at the ocean.

"I understand," Aaron said," Just wondering, but it's fine. We'll be gone next week, but don't hesitate to text or give us a call. We would love to hear the sound of your voice."

"Thank you guys for hearing me. I just needed somebody to listen," I said," Aaliyah is going home next week, so make sure you say bye to her."

They both nod. We packed up the blanket and got in Cam's car.

====Auburn's apartment=======

I looked at twitter for the first time since Shawn died. I went through them. It was people. Everyone.

They tweeted me all the things they loved about Shawn. They told me that it'll get better. I never noticed how much his fans cared. I smiled as happy tears rolled down my face.

He might be gone, but he was loved. Fans adored him. I adored him. He always talked to me about his fans. He loved the fans. He loved me. He is gone, but it's gonna be okay because these fans loved him and they're getting through it so why can't I?

I heard the door open. It was Mr. Manuel. Aaliyah stood up from the couch," Dad?"

I asked,"Mr. Manuel! What's going on?" He smiled.

"Shawn isn't dead, Auburn! He is just badly injured," Mr. Manuel said smiling.

"You mean he's still alive? He's still alive?!" I asked. He nodded. I fell to the ground and started crying tears of joy. Mr. Manuel went to me and gave me a hug. Aaliyah cried too.

"Where is he?" I asked through my tears.

"He is in the hospital with a broken leg, fractured rib, and his left arm is broken as well," He said.

"When can I see him?" I asked.

"He was transported to the hospital in Toronto. I'm going back to Toronto tomorrow if you wanna come," He said," I also can I spend the night here?"

I nodded," Yes of course! You can stay in the guest room."

====the Next morning=====

Mr. Manuel, Aaliyah, and I were all on a plane ready to go see Shawn. Shawn was okay. My Shawn was okay.

We landed and we all raced to their home.

The whole family(Plus Me) all went to the hospital. I stayed behind, so that they could have a chance to see their boy.

When they were done, it was my turn to go see him. I walked in and saw his face light up. I smiled and ran to him and sat next to his bed. "You're okay," I said crying tears of joy.

"The doctor said it was a miracle," he said smiling. I grabbed his hand," I'm so happy that you're okay."

He nodded. "I'm out of the hospital tomorrow and I'm going to go to our apartment about 2 days after I'm out of the hospital," He said.

"Wait. You aren't going back on tour?" I asked. He shook his head," I can't. I got to recover and I noticed that I'm away too much, so I'm staying home for 2 years before my next tour."

=====At our apartment in LA=========

I kissed Shawn. He smiled. I then remembered. I made out with two of his friends.

"Ummm, Shawn?" I said," You got a second." He nodded and sat next to me on the couch.

"When uh I thought you were dead, I kinda made out with Cam and Aaron," I said," I'm sorry."

He nodded," It's fine, Auburn. It was one time each, right? Just not again."

I smiled," Never again. You're my one and only Prince."

"I'm glad I have you, princess," He said with a kiss.

Cam and Aaron came over and saw Shawn. "He Au- ohh hey Shawn," They said in unison.

We stood up from the couch. I laughed a little," Shawn's okay! Isn't that exciting?" I wrapped my arms around Shawn's waist and smiled brightly.

"Oh. Hey Shawny boy," Cam said smiling nervously.

"Hey Cam," Shawn said laughing," I heard about your little make out session with ma girl. You too Carpenter." He put his arm around me. I laughed a little.

The boys both looked at each other Aaron said nervously," Yea we have to go to a-a place? Yea a place."

Shawn nodded," Have fun at a-a place."

They laughed nervously and walked out. "This is why I love you," I kissed him," You're jealous side is hot."

He laughed a little and pushed me onto the couch. He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me passionately. I missed his kisses. He ran his fingers through my hair. I messed up his hair as I played with it. He held me tighter. I smiled a little. I couldn't stop kissing the perfect person in front of me. "I love you," he whispered in my ear and he kept kissing me. It ran chills through my body. I pulled him as close as he could. He picked me up and cornered me in a wall. He smirked and kept kissing me each kiss more passionate than the last. I put my legs around his waist. He spun me around and sat me on the countertop. I smiled a little and kept kissing him. I loved every second. I didn't want this adoration of him in my presence to end. He seemed to want me as much as I wanted him. He ran his fingers along my spine down to my butt. He gave it a small squeeze and I held onto him tight telling him I liked it. I tried to move as close as I could to him. His touch was gentle, but his lips demanded every kiss to lead to another. "Auburn, don't let this end," He said with a wink. He kissed me more demanding more passion. He wanted this forever. He pushed me back to the couch where he could be closer than ever. He was on top of me, but it was only for the closeness. Nothing like THAT. He held me tight. One hand on my butt and the other around my neck demanding our faces to devour each other. I kept my legs around his waist and my hands tangled in his hair. We finally stopped and he smiled at me.

He got off of me and helped me get up. "I love you," He said with a smirk. "I can tell," I said with a laugh. Everything was perfect. "That was a nice welcome home gift," he said. "Definitely not the last," I said with a wink," You're one heck of a kisser, Shawn."

He smiled and put his arm around me. I put my head on his shoulder. I loved every second with him.


	6. Missing You

Cam ran into Shawn and I cuddling. "Auburn, I need your help. Something happened," Cam said hurriedly. I looked at Shawn and he nodded in approval. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Coffee Shop tonight? Maybe 7:30?" I said. "You know it, princess," He said smiling. "Ugh I love you," I said.

I walked out of the door and closed the door. "You don't know how much I want those lips right now," Cam said staring my lips down. "No, Cam! I have Shawn! Now, what do you want?" I asked.

He grabbed my hand and led me to the parking lot and I got in his car. We drove to the beach and I saw Aaron there. "Okay. What is it?" I said.

"Do you really love him?" Aaron asked me. "Shawn? Yes of course! I love him so much!" I answered.

"O-Okay," Aaron said with a sigh.

"Did you think I was going to ditch Shawn?" I asked.

"I was hoping..," Aaron answered.

"Ugh! It's 6:45! Cam, take me to the coffee shop," I said. "I'll take you," Aaron said.

"I was asking Cam," I said. "I can't. Sierra wants me to come home for the night," Cam answered. Aaron smiled.

"Fine, but we gotta go now," I said. The car ride was silent. We didn't speak.

"Soo Shawn is home?" He said. "Yea and I'm really happy," I answered with a giggle.

"As long as you're happy," He mumbled under his breath.

"What?" I asked. "What?" He said back.

"You said something," I said.

"N-no I didn't," He answered.

I laughed a little and said," You're a dork. You totally said something! I bet it was cheesy like something trying to come off as sweet but it failed and it's cheesy."

"Probably was really cheesy to be honest," He said blushing a little.

"Aha! You did say something! Tell me," I said punching his arm lightly.

"Oh look! We are here. Uh have fun with S-Shawn," He said with a fake smile.

I nodded," Fine, Carpenter. You win this time, but I will get you!"

"Oh trust me…you already got me," He said blushing.

"Stop trying, Romeo,"I said with a laugh. I closed the door and walked into the café.

SHAWN'S POV

I saw that Auburn get out of Aaron's car. Ugh! I get so jealous around Cam and Aaron when they're with Auburn.

MY Auburn. Speaking of her, she walked into the café. She smiled brightly and sat across from me.

"Hey Shawn," She said with her cute little smile.

"Auburn, do you feel safe around Aaron and Cameron?" I asked.

She looked kind of confused," Why are you asking?"

"N-No reason I was just wondering," I stuttered and blushed a little.

"Shawn, you're jealous aren't you?" she asked. At that moment I wished that I had never said a single word.

"Just forget I said that, please?" I said looking down at my hot chocolate.

"Shawn, what's going on?" She asked.

"I-I don't know. C-Can we please talk about something else and we'll bring it back up at home?" I asked. I was personally hoping that she would forget about the conversation. She didn't.

======Auburn's Apartment========

I stared at her. "Well? What was it that you wanted to tell me?" She said.

"Auburn, I feel like I can't measure up. Cam and Carpenter are great guys and you went to them when you thought I was dead. My question is do you love me?" I asked her.

"Shawn! What kind of question is that?" She answered.

"Auburn! I'm serious! Take me seriously! Do you love me?" I said it slowly so that it would get through her head. This was serious.

"Shawn. Yes. I love you. I'll say it a million times to get it in your head," She answered.

"I feel like every time you say those words, they become more empty and those words shouldn't be thrown around like an object. Auburn, can we have a break from each other?" I said. I regretted the words, but they were for my wellbeing. I needed space.

"Oh. Y-yea sure. Um where are you going to stay during this 'break' from each other," she asked.

"Probably Cam and Carpenter's place. I'll pack up and move in with them tomorrow," I answered.

"Okay. So um I'm gonna go to bed early. Goodnight," She said. Her life from her face looked drained. She closed the door and I heard her crying. Softly, but enough for me to here.

I went into my room and laid on the bed. Did I make a mistake? I didn't want to think about it. I just drifted to sleep.

=====Next Morning=====

I had texted Cam asking if I could stay at his place during the break and he said yes. I packed my things and Auburn came out of her room. She still looked lifeless. I knew that she would kiss at least Aaron or Cam sometime during this 'break.'

"B-Bye," She said trying to hold back tears.

"Bye," I said. I walked out and closed the door behind me. I drove to Cam's place. I knocked on the door and he opened up.

Cam smiled," So your 'girl' is off limits?" I nodded. I walked in and put down my stuff. I sat down on one of his bean bags.

I saw Aaron getting dressed. "Why are you getting dressed, Aaron?" Cam asked.

"O-Oh I uh am going to see Auburn. She asked for me to come over. Shawn, are you okay," Aaron asked.

I shook my head. " I just didn't notice how hard this 'break' is gonna be," I said," Especially if it involves you guys going to her house to 'comfort' her."

"Your loss my dude," Cam said with a cheesy smile.

AARON'S POV

"Okay. If she is okay with kissing you, don't be scared," I said to myself in the car," Give her everything you wanted to give her and more. Show her how much you want her."

If I could, I would kiss her until I couldn't feel my lips.

I got to her apartment. I knocked on the door. She had a tank top with some leggings. Was she trying to get me to kiss her?

I wanted to, but what if she didn't want that?

"Don't think too much, Carpenter," She said smiling.

I smiled and gave her a small kiss. She kept her eyes closed like she didn't want to let go of that moment. She opened her eyes and gave me a look.

"I know you can do better than that," She said with a small smirk.

I put my arms around her and kissed her. I kissed her more desperate and demanding.

AUBURN'S POV

I know it was wrong, but this was what I wanted, right? Yea! I wanted this. I think. I decided not to think too much. I kissed him back wrapping my arms around his neck.

He pulled back. "What?" I said looking at him.

"T-This doesn't feel right. I'm sorry," He said. He started to walk away, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back in for more. He kissed me and pushed me against the wall, but again he noticed what he was doing. He pulled back once more. "NO! GET OFF OF ME! WHAT ABOUT SHAWN?!" He yelled.

I shook my head," Who cares?" I started to lean in again, but he pushed me away.

"I care! You should too! I don't know what's going on, but let me know when THIS Auburn stops messing with OTHER Auburn," He said.

He walked out and slammed the door. I sat on the couch of my empty apartment. I felt alone. I felt forgotten. I felt like nobody cared and nobody did anyways.

I heard a knock on the door. I walked over and opened it. It was Cam. "What do you want? Do you want to use me too?" I said sadly.

"The only person being used is Me, Shawn, and Aaron. Stop doing this. Stop thinking that no matter how much you will hurt us that we will come back. We are done being your new guy to kiss and take over," He said.

"Cam, those words hurt," I said as tears filled my eyes.

"They weren't meant to heal," He said. He closed the door and walked away.

Nobody loved me. I wasn't wanted. I didn't ask for this. I hated this feeling. This feeling of loneliness. This feeling that I'm not enough. This feeling was overwhelming. I sat in my apartment and cried uncontrollably.

SHAWN'S POV

"Did you make out with her again, Carpenter?" I asked.

"Uh no. I kind of rejected her. Cam went over later and told her that we were tired of being just another guy to make out with," Aaron said.

I shook my head. I knew how unstable Auburn was. I bolted to my car and drove to her house. I pounded on her door. No answer. I kept pounding until I saw her. Her face was red from crying. Tears were rolling down her face and her lip quivered. I hugged her tightly. She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt. I knew why. I pulled up the sleeves. I saw the marks. The blood staining her skin. I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe what was going on.

"Why? Why can someone as perfect as you hate herself so much?" I asked. I meant every word. They weren't words of pity. They were true. I didn't understand.

"I'm not perfect, Shawn. I'm far from it. Too far. I don't deserve you or anyone. I should be asking you how you deal with me," She said tearing up. I traced the marks on her wrists. She winced at the pain.

"I don't want you to be hurting yourself," I said starting to cry. She fell to the ground crying. "What is it?" I asked concerned.

"T-T-The pain. Shawn, help me," She said in despair. She pointed to her wrists. I called an ambulance. They came and I went into the ambulance with her. I held her hand. I didn't want to let go.

She looked at me almost lifeless, but a small smile spread across her face.

We got to the hospital and they ran several tests. She had major blood loss. It was too much. She was dying. Nothing could save her. She was dying.

I walked into her hospital room. "S-S-Shawn p-please stay w-with m-me. I-I-I need you here. I l-love you a-and I m-mean it," She said weakly.

"I know you do," I said starting to cry. She meant it. She loved me. A few minutes later, she died. She died next to me. It was all because of me that she died. I wanted to hold her again.

I attended the funeral. I cried. Pain filled my heart. She loved me. I felt this sudden feeling of comfort. She loved ME. Not Aaron. Not Cameron. ME. She loved me. I was enough for her. I was enough. I closed my eyes as every memory. I was missing her, but I was okay.

I wrote a small letter to Auburn:

 _I want you back. I'm sorry for every mistake. Every hateful word. I'm sorry. You died knowing I loved you. That's enough. I love you. I'm missing you._

 _Sincerely, Your Prince_


End file.
